I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
