if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
