U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
