I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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