i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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