i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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