I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
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he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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