yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
