I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I think people are normalizing furries
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
