We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
