so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
