The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
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No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
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I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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