I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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