Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
