i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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