see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
