I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
