alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
