you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
