What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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