i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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