so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
