Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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