Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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