Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
