Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
