if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
