Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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