i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
