wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize