How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
