Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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