The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
3 2 1 whiskey
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
