I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
