he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Sext me about skeletons
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize