Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
