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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  How was your Memorial Day?

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?

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