there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
