like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
