Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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