I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
