Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.

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  (847): we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us. http://tfl.nu/woip
  Replies (11) Good night (519) Bad night (1279)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...

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  (631): I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms... http://tfl.nu/vz7o
  Replies (27) Good night (1718) Bad night (2320)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game

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  (864): we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game http://tfl.nu/6o4z
  Replies (36) Good night (7247) Bad night (604)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy

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  (217): So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy http://tfl.nu/9pzn
  Replies (16) Good night (949) Bad night (4509)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.

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  (401): Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself. http://tfl.nu/v546
  Replies (27) Good night (647) Bad night (3743)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets

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  (413): How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets http://tfl.nu/sjge
  Replies (17) Good night (4954) Bad night (1590)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.

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  (443): THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED. http://tfl.nu/dr1s
  Replies (13) Good night (2194) Bad night (1417)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no

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  (+44): all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no http://tfl.nu/jen9
  Replies (15) Good night (2606) Bad night (1308)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.

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  (724): Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours. http://tfl.nu/4ug0
  Replies (1) Good night (2280) Bad night (777)
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  (714): View more from California

  You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.

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  (714): You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/bbnq
  Replies (6) Good night (1313) Bad night (550)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.

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  (801): We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form. http://tfl.nu/5xht
  Replies (4) Good night (1055) Bad night (444)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.

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  (480): She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress. http://tfl.nu/19rj
  Replies (4) Good night (588) Bad night (1292)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver

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  (208): Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver http://tfl.nu/xi4h
  Replies (7) Good night (951) Bad night (440)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.

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  (443): Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her. http://tfl.nu/t8u7
  Replies (0) Good night (513) Bad night (381)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.

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  (203): No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places. http://tfl.nu/z30e
  Replies (0) Good night (644) Bad night (261)

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