Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.

(1-850): View more from Florida

Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.

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(850): Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now. (1-850): Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel. http://tfl.nu/j1ot

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him

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(484): he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him http://tfl.nu/d2zc

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(623): View more from Arizona

Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?

(1-623): View more from Arizona

Um.. is it mean if I say yes?

(623): View more from Arizona

How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"

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(623): Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years? (1-623): Um.. is it mean if I say yes? (623): How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?" http://tfl.nu/602v

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(225): View more from Louisiana

is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?

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(225): is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off? http://tfl.nu/2g62

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(203): View more from Connecticut

he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.

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(203): he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs. http://tfl.nu/tskr

Replies (44) Good night (8375) Bad night (1238)
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(773): View more from Illinois

How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?

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(773): How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom? http://tfl.nu/o0zg

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(909): View more from California

At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains

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(909): At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains http://tfl.nu/rchm

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.

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(902): I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother. http://tfl.nu/s7ce

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(601): View more from Mississippi

After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.

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(601): After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable. http://tfl.nu/u7w9

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(937): View more from Ohio

And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.

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(937): And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/r7zp

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(941): View more from Florida

Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.

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(941): Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't. http://tfl.nu/qxou

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(703): View more from Virginia

Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?

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(703): Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch? http://tfl.nu/5l5a

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.

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(732): I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas. http://tfl.nu/d95y

Replies (6) Good night (2320) Bad night (909)
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(317): View more from Indiana

hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.

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(317): hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room. http://tfl.nu/qubv

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.

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(306): I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck. http://tfl.nu/lhcb

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