Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

So drunk, too bad you don't want this

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(510): So drunk, too bad you don't want this http://tfl.nu/0z98

Replies (3) Good night (868) Bad night (1001)
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(925): View more from California

tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.

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(925): tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too. http://tfl.nu/05va

Replies (12) Good night (2236) Bad night (777)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.

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(503): Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab. http://tfl.nu/if5q

Replies (14) Good night (844) Bad night (3430)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.

(1-202): View more from Washington, DC

Thanks, mom.

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(202): You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway. (1-202): Thanks, mom. http://tfl.nu/107n

Replies (25) Good night (1978) Bad night (4588)
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(330): View more from Ohio

tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed

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(330): tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed http://tfl.nu/01ok

Replies (22) Good night (2085) Bad night (1103)
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(831): View more from California

oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.

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(831): oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK. http://tfl.nu/xtip

Replies (12) Good night (689) Bad night (2122)
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(301): View more from Maryland

And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble

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(301): And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble http://tfl.nu/0x8g

Replies (7) Good night (2395) Bad night (590)
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(647): View more from Ontario

I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers

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(647): I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers http://tfl.nu/b7h6

Replies (6) Good night (548) Bad night (981)
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(719): View more from Colorado

As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.

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(719): As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF. http://tfl.nu/ti4u

Replies (3) Good night (1264) Bad night (642)
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(904): View more from Florida

The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo

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(904): The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo http://tfl.nu/8wcq

Replies (8) Good night (900) Bad night (643)
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(940): View more from Texas

Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.

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(940): Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits. http://tfl.nu/jw0d

Replies (10) Good night (945) Bad night (406)
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(+81): View more from

On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows

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(+81): On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows http://tfl.nu/nqax

Replies (1) Good night (561) Bad night (327)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.

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(330): I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs. http://tfl.nu/5zwg

Replies (8) Good night (570) Bad night (340)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it

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(250): the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it http://tfl.nu/lvi5

Replies (1) Good night (580) Bad night (280)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..

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(785): Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom.. http://tfl.nu/34oi

Replies (1) Good night (285) Bad night (425)

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