piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.