They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You are the jesus of drinking
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
