Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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