I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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