my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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