ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
