I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
God I need to hump something, right now.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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