I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
