Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
