yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
