Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
