There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
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he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize