I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize