Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
