are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
