it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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