Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
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