theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize