he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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