I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
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Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
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He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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