I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize