Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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