I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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