i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
